Tijuana - Day 3

Sept. 14, 2016
69 F

Didn't sleep well again.  One of those nights that I am sure I slept, but felt like I was up the whole night.  Was able to to relax and not stress about not sleeping which would stress me more, so just thought about all the stuff I am going to be able to do once these bugs get out of my head.

Woke up at 6:30

7:00 - IV of Poly-MVA

7:30 - PEMF (pulsed electro magnetic fields), improves circulation and cell metabolism

8:00 - Breakfast:  scrambled eggs, potatoes pancake, oats with blueberries (didn't like), but 2 servings of eggs and pancakes

8:30 - Indiba, heat therapy with deep heating of the local tissue area, tumor cells do not support this level of heat and die, metabolism is also increased by this treatment, 30 minutes

9:00 - Light Pads/Lumen Photon Therapy - Cytochrome C oxidase is an enzyme inside our cellular mitochondria where our body naturally makes healing energy. Cytochrome C oxidase responds to light and specific frequencies, 30 minutes on liver and chest

*most of my therapies cannot be put direction on my head*

10:00 - green drink that is nasty

10 - 11:30 - Recall Therapy, I liked this, http://www.hope4cancer.com/hope4cancer-treatments/core-therapies/recall-healing.html, I have done this throughout my journey, we should all do it

*11:00 - Jason left*

Also at 10:00 - 3:00 -Vitamin 3 in IV, I kept forgetting I was hooked up to the darn thing and kept just walking away from the bag and pole and everyone would run to me to help, LOL

12:00 - Light Pad again on back

12:45 - Lunch: brown rice pasta with kale pesto (my favorite so far! but I haven't had rice in 3 years!), salad, veggie soup (2 servings)

1:30 - room to relax

2:00 - question and answers with Dr. Tony Jimenez (founder)

Yummy protein shake

3:00 - coffee enema

3:45 - not sure the name, but it looks like a stairclimber at the gym, it bounces you up and down (10 mins)

4:00 - Hyperbaric Oxygen Chamber

5:15 - ran on treadmill for 2.5 miles

6:00 - Dinner: chick pea salad, veggie soup, smaller salad with blueberries

7:00 - 7:25 - sauna, so HOT, 25 minutes, rotating every 5 minutes, I went to get out and I couldn't open the door, trying to slide the door open and not panic, but I was hot and I was FREAKING out, starting knocking on the door and not sure what to do, then I stumbled and my shoulder hit the door and it popped open, I was trying to slide it and it pushed open, WHEW

8:30 - Sono-Photo Dynamic Therapy (SPDT), works with our SP-Acivate which adheres to the cancer cells, so that when light and now, sound, of the correct frequency is applied, the agent "explodes" into free radical oxygen, instantly killing the cancer cells which cannot survive in oxygen, uses three components: a photo and sono-sensitive activator of light and/or sound at the correct wavelengths, and a source of oxygenation, 10 minutes on back, chest, and liver (gel and a heated wand rubbed in circular motion)

SHOWER

9 - 10 - photo component SPDT (lay on back, pull down 10 lights over front, then flip) 30 mins each side

10 - 10:30 - Near Infrared Heat Lamp, penetrates about 3 inches inside body, healing hard to reach areas, many viruses, bacteria, parasites and tumor cells have poor tolerance to heat compared to normal cells

It was a long day, but a good day.  Everyone I meet is so wonderful.  Doctors, nurses, food staff, cleaning crew, patients, etc.  Some patients are here for the first time like me, others are back for their follow-ups, which happens every three months (I think) for four days.

I was asleep by 11.  YAY.  I woke up at 4.  I will take it.

When you wake up, you have to schedule you day.  It is a little overwhelming.  So much to figure out - times
- certain treatments you can't do on the same day as others
- some are 10 minutes, some are an hour
- some you can't sign up for and just go by and see if they are available
- then a doctor might pull you away and you have to reschedule
- a nurse does your vitals at least twice a day

But it comforting to me.  Everything I am doing just feels right.

5:15 AM - going to read a little and hopefully sleep a little

Wow.  Feeling so much better than this picture from beginning of the year!

My sweet neighbor has been giving the boys Beanie Babies.  This is New Beginning and Halo.  They came home with the boys to bring here to get rid of the bug in my head.  

Tijuana - Day 2

Last night, I fell asleep hard at 8 PM Tijuana time.  Don't even think I said my prayers.  But then I woke up at 2 AM wide awake.  And so hangry.  Stayed in bed for an hour drinking water to fill my stomach and tried to go back to sleep.  Finally got up at 3.  Walked around the clinic, found a book, and read for an hour.  Iyanla Vanzant.  "Yesterday, I cried"  It is very apropros.

Went back to room and never went back to sleep.  The steroids I am on are giving me insomnia.  No fun.

Nurse showed up at 6:45 to give me medicine I took under my tongue.  It is to prepare me for the ultra-violent light therapies.  Had to stay in the dark for five minutes.  Then wait 30 minutes to drink water.

At 7:00, I was getting blood work.  Then an ultra sound.

7:30 - Pulsed Electo Magnetic Fields - used to circulate and cell metabolism

8:00 - Breakfast: eggs, guac, brown sauce, sprouts, almond milk based cream of wheat stuff with strawberries.  I had 2 servings!

9:00 - Coffee Enema and hydrogen (yes, where you are thinking), it cleans out the colon

10:00 - Talked to my awesome doctor

10:15 - nasty green smoothie/drink

11:00 - PIC insertion, because of my two ports, I have a lot of scar tissue, doctor couldn't get the needle in the vein, after 5 pricks, I asked for the most benevolent outcome and pictured me giving my vein that was moving to God on a platter He was holding and immediately the doctor said it was in, I started crying, He is so with me.

12:00 - Hyperbaric Chamber (I am like Micheal Jackson)

12:45 - X-ray of chest

12:50 - Pulsed Electro-Magnetic Field again

1:00 - Lunch: salman with yummy almond milk based sauce with olives, broccoli, and white soup

3:00 - First IV treatment - B-12

4:00 - protein shake

5:00 - Dinner:  salad, quinoa with veggies (had carrots so didn't eat), bean soup

6:00 - Indiba (heat, kills cancer cells)

6:30 - walked to organic store to get food in case I wake up in the middle of the night again, and also picked up some Tijuana t-shirts

7:15 - walk on beach boardwalk with Gladys (one of the awesome patients we have met)

8:15 - turning off computer

Sleep tight, Everyone!!

Tijuana

Our alarm went off at 6:00.  We left the house at 6:40.  Got to the airport at 7:30.  We somehow thought our flight was at 8:45.  It was 8:15.  I was checking a bag so I went ahead of Jason, but thought we still had a lot of time.  Jason gets on the plane and texts me to hurry.  When I got to the gate, the plane was already detached from the ramp.  I start crying and stressing.  Long story short, they opened the plane back up for me.  After I was "yelled" at by the check-in attendant that I was inconveniencing over 200 people.  I get it.  I am sorry.

Just tells me that I was meant to come here.  TODAY.

The driver picks us up, we drive 20 minutes to the border.  We buy visas and our passports are stamped.  We drive ten more minutes to the facility.

We get a tour of the facility.  Everyone is so nice and smiling.  Especially the patients.

Check into room.  Twin beds. LOL

Ate a delicious lunch:  spinach/lentil soup, salad, a huge Portabella mushroom, rice and veggies, Brussel sprouts, hummus, and Kangen water.

Unpacked our bags and rested a little.

Met my doctor, went over medical history, and had a physical exam.

Jason and I walked down to Walmart.

Ate another delicious meal:  potato salad, zucchini pasta, and spinach salad with blueberries.

Tijuana is 3 hours behind.  It is 7:00 right now, but 10:00 our time.  I am in the bed with my PJs on and will probably be asleep very soon.

I have received so many emails and texts today.  I cannot tell you how much they all meant to me.  Thank you.

I start my treatments tomorrow at 7 am.  I was told the day can be overwhelming with all the treatments, but I am ready. I have been getting ready for tomorrow for four years now.

I am ready.

Healing Trip to Mexico

It's time to go and time to ask for more help.

https://www.gofundme.com/2mrxcdg

Thank you in advance.  How do I even thank everyone?  I just heard a voice telling me, "Come home healthy!"

Catching Up

I had a CT scan today.  Dr. Khalid wants one done every 2 weeks to monitor the biggest lesion (the one causing my vertigo) closely.  I went to his office to get the results and waited for almost 2 hours.  The kept me informed the the doctor was at the hospital.  Finally asked if I could go home.  Could they call me with the results?  They said yes.  Didn't hear for them.  Will call tomorrow (Tuesday).

I go on Friday for my second round of chemo.  Please continue visualizing those lesions shrinking and going away.

We are getting closer and closer to making a decision about our next step.  It looks like Mexico.  The question is where?  Mañana?  Hope4cancer.com?  Somewhere else? It means at least 3 weeks away from my family.  But I have to keep telling myself, "When this works, it will be worth it."  And then there is the money.  Insurance does not pay for this.  We have gotten numbers ranging from $5000 to $30,000.  From day one, we have been advised to start a GoFundMe page.  For some reason, Jason and myself can't pull the trigger.  But we have already had friends and family say that is how they can help.  "Please let us help."  UGH

The goal here, of course, is for me to live to 90.  We will need to keep as much savings as we can so we can live comfortably once I am completely healed.

My vertigo has gotten a little better.  I am not sure if I am just adapting or it really is getting better.  Either way, I am better.  And I started driving!  That has been so good for my spirit.  I will stay away from the highway and night driving, but drive around town.  Don't worry, you are safe, my friends!

Please continue your meditations and whatever you see that are getting those lesions.  I have actually been sending hugs and love.  Give anger, you will get anger.  Give love, and you will get loved.

I know I have said it before, but your love and support mean the world to me. Thank you.

Crawling Out

I can't believe it has been more than 2 weeks since we found out that the lesions have doubled.  I was in a bad place. Really bad.  In the four years since this journey has begun, I have never been that low. My family was freaking out.  Their normal fighter looked like she had given up.  I had not.  I just was in a place I had never been before and need new tools to navigate it.

I quickly realized that I was holding onto the hope of a medical miracle.  But man cannot do that.  Only God.  I quickly switched my thinking and I instantly felt better.  Man cannot tell me when I am done.  But my doctors were doing just that.  "We are being positive that this new chemo will shrink the lesions.  But.  BUT...it is time to have the talk."  NOOOOOOOO!  I was told to go home and have the hard talks.  Do I want to be hooked up to machines if it goes down that road?  Do I want to be revived?" No. No. No. No. No. No.

 Breath.  Breath.  I felt the room shrink.  I felt punched in the gut.  I was going to be sick.  And then I wanted to punch something.  It was not fun.

I went home and wallowed for about two days straight.  Really wallowed.  I was alone and I broke down.  I was bawling and screaming, "I am not done yet!  I am not done yet!  My boys need me!  Jason needs me!  I need to be here to see this family grow in strength and faith.  I am not done.  I am not done!"  That went on for a long time.

 In hindsight, I think it was the best thing I could have done.  I warned my family that was what I was going to do for two days.  BUT THAT I WAS NOT GIVING UP.  Just was exhausted and needed a break from everything.

But I have a foothold and I starting to crawl out.

About three months ago, I started getting dizzy.  It seemed liked every day it was getting worse.  But that is a side effect of chemo.  Turns out we now know why.  I have a lesion that is pressing on the 4th ventricle in the brain which is prohibiting fluid from flowing normally back and forth.  I have HORRIBLE vertigo.  It is like walking around with a blanket that makes everything foggy.  If I turn to fast one way, everything spins.  I would rather have a bone sticking out that this.  You can't shake it.  It is a constant reminder that you are sick.  We are hoping the chemo shrinks that lesions (quickly!) so this can be alleviated.

I started my new chemo - Kadcyla - Aug. 12.  I will go every 3 weeks.  Once drugs are mixed, it should take 1 hour.  But that usually means two hours by the time you check-in, access veins, and the drugs are mixed.  They can't mix drugs until you are in chair and ready.

We saw a new doctor, Dr. Ahmad Khalid, and he said if the lesion does not shrink, a shunt can be put it.  NO!!  I don't need another hole in my head.  Send good, positive thoughts to my brain stem and picture shrinkage.  Then picture the lesion sliding down my spine and going into the Earth.  The Earth will take it and get rid of it and make sure it doesn't hurt anyone else.

A lot of you have told me how much you like meditating.  Please continue to do so.  Picture white light going into my brain/head, grabbing those lesions, going down my spine, and into the Earth.  Over and over again.  Text me if you can and I will join you.  It worked that first time.  Why I stopped, I am not sure?  But it is time to look back and do what worked before.  Bring out the Dooziers, the Superheroes, bombs, etc.  Whatever you see when you close your eyes!  I am ready to receive whatever you send my way.

My team has been researching and talking to people who have done alternative treatments.  We are leaning towards Mexico.  We all agree that something new has to be done.  This good news/bad news is exhausting.  How about some good news that lasts forever?!?

Here is someone we are considering:

http://mananashealinghouse.blogspot.com

There are other places in Mexico we are also considering.  Send any suggestions you might have...

It will mean me going for a whole month.  Which, as you can imagine, is a huge undertaking with 2 small kids to get childcare for while Daddy works.  But I think it is time I am selfish and take care of me.  And only me.  And finally get healthy!  I would be working on my body, mind, soul, grievances, past hurts, and letting go of anger.  It will be intense, but makes sense, right?  Mañana would literally wait on me 24/7, feeding me herbs from the earth, lots and lots of healing tea, being my therapist, making me sleep, making me dig deep and release everything once and for all, and just love on me.

As a human, it is hard not to feel like I am just being selfish.  But why do we think taking care of ourselves is selfish?  We should all take care of ourself every day like that.  I know I am going to get comments and people who don't agree, but that is what I have to learn - trust my gut and do it!

Sister Dulce

I asked in my last post if anyone had anything, ANYTHING, that they thought we might try or stop.  That one thing we were missing to get rid of this, no evidence of disease, complete healing.  I had one response:  Go see Sister Dulce.  We researched.  Jason researched.  We talked to someone who had gone to see her.  Jason sent an email and the next day we received confirmation that they have received it and would be contacting us soon.  Fast forward and we have an appointment five days later (there was a cancellation) in Baton Rouge!

We figured out who was watching the boys, made plans, and headed out Wednesday at 3:15.  Road trips without children are so different. We actually talked and laughed. It was nice.  By the end of the drive, we were signing at the tops of our lungs to 70s music.

As the sun set, we saw this beautiful reminder that God is here and He is control and everything is going to be okay.

Because of traffic, we rolled into our hotel around midnight.  Literally hung up our clothes, changed, and crashed into bed.

Front desk called with a wake-up call at 8:00.  I brought all my stuff so made butternut squash and eggs.  Jason went downstairs for the free continental breakfast and coffee.  Showers were taken.  Bags backed and we were out the door at 9:15.  We were less than 10 miles from Sister Dulce's and ran into major construction.  Thought we were going to be late.  Sister sees people every 15 minutes.  And she is packed the whole day.  I was almost in tears thinking we were going to miss our slot.  We made it with 10 minutes to spare!  We were told to get something from the gift shop so Sister can bless it.  I found this beautiful bracelet.  Goes well with all my others.

I filled out some paperwork and then we were called in.  We were the first appointment.  Sister Dulce is in a wheelchair and has the warmest smile on her face.  She asked what drugs I was on - Tykerb and Xeloda.  She explains how they work - one goes in and breaks the protein shell that the tumors have around them and then the other one comes in and gets the tumor.  She then laid her hands on me and explain how she can "feel" the caner.  She said her hand get a hot/burning sensation in her hands. She said she felt it very hot in my head, but feels it is because the cells are dying and struggling.  Then she prayer over me.  Don't remember verbatum, but, "Papa, heal this child, put it in my hand so I can take it way, and give it to you."  She then asked me if I had children.  This is where I really cried.  She then prayed again, "Papa, she needs to be healed.  Those boys need their momma."  She gave me a pillow with a bible verse on it, blessed it, and said to sleep with it where there is pain.  Then she blessed my bracelet.  AND gave me her cell number.  What?!?  She said to call her when I am scared or in pain and we would pray together.  Humbled.

Hugs were given and we were out the door.  Very emotional.  We went into the sanctuary

http://cypressspringsprayercenter.org

We left and went to the sanctuary and just sat there in silence.  I think I cried some more.  I went to go light a candle, but the votives were empty.  I knelt and prayed.  Filled out a prayer card - "Prayer for peace for the Ford Family.  Healing for Dawn."

We didn't want to leave.  We were both so moved by what just happened.  But we had a long drive ahead of us.  We said a prayer of praise and thanks and headed to our car.

Another nice drive home.  This time we listened to comedians that we played through our radio through Youtube.  Love technology.  Made it home a lot quicker this time.  Rolled back into Marietta at 8.  This greeted us a mile from the house. More reminders.

I am writing this after most of you know that that lesions have double, but I feel calm.  Calm and ready come back swinging. And I will keep swimming...