I Am Loved

This is what I found in my driveway when I came home from the hospital.  Thank you to the wonderful friends who left it.

Metasteses in the brain is very scary, right?  That is what we thought too.  Not that word isn't serious, but it is not brain cancer.  My cancer did not originate in the brain.  This is still breast cancer.  That information helped use breathe a little better.  I have multiple lesions.  I have not asked how many nor have I looked at my scans.  I do not know how many I have.  I do know there are more than 5.  I have been in tune with such things, and when they first told me, I immediately picture 15 to 20.  But it doesn't matter.  My radiologist, Dr. Mark McGlaughlin, pointed out very pointedly that they were all small.  More breathing.

I am on anti-inflammatories and will be for awhile.  I start radiation on Monday.  15 days minus weekends.  I cannot drive.  I am not on anti-seziure medicine, but that could change.  My mind is not working right.  I have typed several of these words more than once.  I am not walking particularly well all the time.  My vision gets spotty a lot.  And when the headaches come, they are bad.

But, I am doing pretty well considering.  There are still a lot of tears, but we are slowly coming out of the fog.  Plans are being made and we will let everyone know how they can help when we figure it out.

Thank you for reminding me that I am loved.

Third Times A Charm

As most of you know, my cancer is back and is in the brain. We are formulating a plan and are going to kick this cancer's backside once again. Right now all we need your prayers. We are going to need help again, and will let you know what that is.

I have already been crying on and off with everyone's sweet messages. Dust off the Fraggle Rocks. We're going to need them again.

Potty Training Boot Camp Take 2

When we potty trained our eldest son at 2 1/2 years old, we did the 3-day method.  Basically, you stay home for 3 days.  Seriously, you don't even leave to run to the grocery story.  Have lots of liquids for the child to drink so there are more opportunities for them to figure it out.  Commit to no more diapers or pull-ups. You stay home until they figure it out.  Here is a blog that explains it.  http://www.lucieslist.com/toddlerhood/the-two-day-method-potty-training/

We started on a Saturday, and by Tuesday, he was at school with underwear on and has NEVER had an accident there.  We never used pull-ups.  But there were quite a few accidents at night, but we handled them, and after about a month, we didn't have any more.

This is how it went for us. http://raiseyourheads.blogspot.com/2013/11/potty-training-day-1.html

I say all this knowing full well that we got luck with J.  We have with most things.  He has generally been an easy child.  And them came C.  We have been brought down a few notches.  Where I thought we had just done a great job with him, I now realize, it was J's nature.  

Tomorrow we start child number 2.  We are loaded up with apple juice (his favorite drink).  We have the adorable underwear.

We have skittles for rewards.  Along with little men (his favorite things right now).  And behind the door, I have some great big toys for when he goes stinky.  Because we all know that one takes a little longer.

The most important thing is not to have anything planned. Be with your child the whole day.  When I did this last time, I didn't eat much. I didn't clean much. Except loads of underwear that had been tee-teed on. I didn't get on my phone. I remember having a beer or two at the end of the night.

This time, things are going to be different. Harder. I have to prepare at least three meals each day. And that comes with tons of dishes. Taking all my supplements takes at least 5 minutes. Making my wheatgrass shots takes 15 minutes. And I won't have a beer to look forward to at the end of the night.

I've come to realize that we, as humans, rationalize with excuses. Whether they are legit excuses or just that - reasons to not do something. I could easily stop my diet for a day to do this. But that may lead to other days of not doing it. I could also not do it this way so it is easier on me. But I am not going to do either of those things.

I am going to get up and do this. I won't have the luxury of not eating, but will use this time to get C to help me cook. I won't have a beer waiting for me, but will have a wheatgrass shot. And I will toast to the fact that I am here to experience this with C. Because that is why I have fought so hard.

Wish me luck. C has always given us a run for our money. This should be interesting.

How To Help

When I submitted my video to The FoodBabe Video Contest, I was doing it to get my story out.  Not because I felt I could help other patients.  But because, when we started out on our journey, it would have been helpful to have met someone like my sister and myself.  Someone who had done the research.  Who had done a crazy diet.  Someone to help us start on which way I wanted to do my journey.

But even as I said that, I wasn't confident that anyone would want to hear what I had to say.  To hear about the crazy journey I ended up taking.

Enter my new friend, S.  She saw my video, found me on Facebook, and contacted me.  How crazy and awesome is that?  We have talked on the phone, texted, and she came over today to talk.  I wish I could have guided her more in her journey.  But that is what I have been saying from the beginning - I can only tell you what I did and what worked for me.  Everyone has to figure out for themselves what is best for them.  But I do feel, however, that I do have some good information for anyone looking to get toxins out of their lives.  Albeit food toxins, environmental toxins, body care toxins, and/or emotional toxins.

S said she is having a hard time telling people what NOT to bring into her house.  I totally get that.  Here were people wanting to help, wanting to bring me food, wanting to get me bath products, etc, and I couldn't use them.  How do you throw that back in someone's face?  There is no easy way.  Say you would like to exchange it?  That is rude.  Say you don't want it because is had bad ingredients/products in it?  Rude.  And people think you are overreacting.  I saw it in their eyes.  I still see it in their eyes when I say no thank you to the homemade cupcake.  It is hard.

I wrote a post awhile back thinking I was being so helpful.  http://raiseyourheads.blogspot.com/2013/04/chemoradiation-baskets.html  I just reread it.  Eye opening.  I was so far away from where I am today as far as what I am putting in my body and on my body.

That gave me the idea for this post.  What can friends do or give if their friend or family member has just been diagnosed and they decide to go the route of changing their diets and lifestyles to get rid of cancer naturally and/or in conjunction with treatment?  These are only my opinions.  But much better than the chicken with ritz crackers you were thinking about!

The first thing that always comes to mind is a meal.  It works out perfectly for the giver and the receiver.  The giver gets to lovingly prepare a meal that the receiver will get to eat and heal while eating it.  And when you are using your diet as a medicine, this becomes even more meaningful.  Everybody is going to change their diet differently, but I know all will come to the conclusion that anything in a  box or bag is not part of their diet anymore.  Prepare them a meal of quinoa with veggies.  Bring them a homemade smoothie made of veggies that are organic.  I did no fruit so find out if they are eating that or not.  You should drink a smoothie within a few hours so make it fresh.  Lentil pasta is really yummy with organic spaghetti sauce.  You can be creative.  Just NOTHING processed, please.

I have recipes I plan on sharing soon.  Recipes that I eat and are pretty clean and devoid of as many toxins as possible.  Stay tuned...

Even better than a meal is a gift certificate to Whole Foods or Kroger.  Eating raw and real food is expensive.  It is still one of my favorite gifts.  The patient needs to relearn how to eat so this forces them to walk the aisles, read packages, and figure out what their body needs.  Kroger has more than doubled the amount of organic products they carry in the six months since I was re-diagnosed.  I cannot vouch for Publix just because I don't shop there.  No other reason than it is further away from my house. (I did go to Publix last week and found it lacking in organic food.)

If you cannot afford a monetary gift, ask them if you can do some research for them.  Or go to doctor appointments to take notes.  The amount of information that is thrown at you is crazy.

Just show up.  Do the dishes without asking.  Just do it.  Do the laundry.  Don't ask.  Just do it. Take their kids to the park or out to lunch.  Don't ask.  Just do it.  Help clean their house.  Don't ask.  Just do it.

Just do it.

Give them a journal.  I truly believe that emotional toxins are just as bad as the ones we put in our bodies.  We ALL need to get rid of resentment and anger and fear and anything that isn't joy and calmness.  If they have kids, come over and MAKE them go relax.  During my 3 months of chemo, EVERY day I rested/journaled/meditated for 3 hours.  I didn't realize how much it helped me physically, emotionally, and my soul until I stopped having it every day.

Send flowers.  Or pick some up when you are at the grocery and drop them off.  Give a relaxing CD.  Give candles to burn.  I was only burning beeswax candles.  (Soy has been linked to cancer.)

I have lots of other ideas for more fun ideas, but don't like to write long posts.  Email me if you want other suggestions.  Dawning09@icloud.com

Thank you for helping your friends and family get through chemo and treatments.  We all need a team of people on our side and helping us get through this bump in the road.  Having help and support helps us look forward to getting over that bump and coasting down the other side cancer free and with smiles on our faces.

Lost Email and Lost Memory

After I posted my initial information on the inhibitors I am taking, someone sent me a wonderfully detailed email about what exactly inhibitors do.  I cannot find it.  And I cannot remember who sent it.  (Claiming chemo brain) If you are that person, could you please resend it?  Thank you!!!

Natural Inhibitors

Hello, researchers.  I need some help on my next very important decision.  As I have stated in past posts, I am hoping to find a natural inhibitor verses the ones I am currently on every 3 weeks FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

I am currently on Herceptin and Perjeta.  I asked my doctor if she assumed my cancer would come back.  Her response?  "Oh, it will come back."  I let it hang in the air.  It just didn't make sense.  So began my search for an alternative.  Please understand, if this is my best option, I am ready to deal with that.  But the thought of just waiting for it to come back is not appealing to me.

From the little research I have done, 7 years seems to be the longest I have heard of "remission" before it came back on western medicine.  I do believe I will get much better results with all the life changes I have made.

But....

We have found a possible alternative.  We discovered Marnie Clark.  http://MarnieClark.com  She lives in Australia and we talked to her last week.  As always, I am not a medical person, but the way I understand it is there is something called Transfer Factors.  They build up your immune system by 437%!!!  And from what we have learned these past 5 months is that if your immune system is working at maximum, disease CANNOT grow.  But getting your immune system up to par is not easy because we are constantly bombarded with toxins.  Toxins from our food, toxins from our environment, toxins from our emotions, toxins from prescribed medicines, and toxins from our beauty and cleaning products.  And although that encompasses a lot, I didn't list all of them.

Transfer factors is colostrum from cows.  We all know how important colostrum is to our babies.  The same goes from cows.  And from what I understand, if the don't get it within a certain amount of hours, the calf will die.  Powerful stuff.

Marnie has been on these for 11 years and has not had another reoccurrence.  She states that she cannot promise anything, but she has not lost a client/patient.  She also has a protocol to go along with it.  Props to my sister because we are already doing them!  They include: 8 or more hours of sleep, avoid sugar, keep chronic stress out of your life, maintain a healthy digestive system, plenty of good quality protein, and eat plenty of organic fruits and vegetables (but no fruit for me).

Here is the information on transfer factors:

http://www.prohealth.com//library/showArticle.cfm?libid=12634

http://professionalnetworkers.com/ImprovedTF/PageOne.htm

Now these are two articles that Marnie sent me so let's see what we can find out with our own independent research.

And here is the information on the exact TFs she is suggesting for me:

TF Tri-Factor Formula.pdf


Just to refresh, I was on Herceptin for a full year before.  2 months after stopping it, I was rediagnosed.  I was also taking Tamoxifen (another inhibitor) for almost 2 years (a pill every day) when rediagnosed.  That is what has led us down this road - the normal, western inhibitors did not work for me.

Also, one of the side effects of Perception is heart failure.  I was in the ER only 6 months after taking Herceptin.  http://raiseyourheads.blogspot.com/2013/04/extra-heartbeats.html  It makes me nervous to be on them for the rest of my life.

I cannot wait to hear what everyone finds out.  I will start researching myself and hopefully, together, we can figure this out.

I am excited about the prospect of doing something aligned with my oncologist, but naturally.  Not with poison.  I am working hard EVERY DAY to only put pure, healthy stuff in my body.  I still struggle every day with cravings and being mad that I cannot have what I want.  But it kills me even more that Herceptin and Perjeta float around inside of my body.

Hugs to all.

Surgery, Teeth, and Running

Today is the first day that I can cough and it doesn't kill me.  My recovery was good, but more painful than I thought.  The first few days, it was pretty bad.  It was hard not to get hit in the stomach by my boys.  The good thing that came out of this was, because I couldn't pick up Charlie, he is more independent now.  I guess I was babying my baby.  Imagine that!

Today I got my old, sliver fillings out.  I only had 3 small ones so it wasn't that bad.  Why did I do this?  In my research (which hasn't been that much), I found out that the old, silver fillings, called amalgam fillings, contain mercury.  One doctor I found (can't remember his name) believes that 95% of cancer patients have cancer because of their fillings.  As with anything, I could cite 5 articles saying it is a sham and 5 that back it up.  I always go by my gut.  And honestly, I have always wanted to do this anyway.

I asked my dentist and he didn't bat and eye and made the appointment to get it done.  He did say today that he has done this often and not for patients who are as aware of environmental toxins as I am.  That made me feel good.  Let's do it!

He numbed my cheek.  Then he put on a rubber damn.  It was pretty sexy, I am sure.  It kept any of the old filling from getting in my mouth.  He drilled out the old one and put in the new, white filling.

I was pretty numb for awhile.  My dentist said to drink some milkshakes until the numbing goes away so I don't bite my tongue.  He is funny, huh?  How I wish I could have had a milkshake.  I had a protein shake instead.

My birthday was on Sunday.  It was a good day.  I appreciate my birthday so much more now.  Another year alive.  Another year of memories.  Another year that my boys have grown.  Another year of getting stronger.

I ran 3 miles today.  The runs since my diagnosis in November have been tough.  Today?  Much easier and more enjoyable.  After surgery and dental work.  Take that!  #Fancer