Hidden Anger

Last night (Tuesday night), my friends took me to Jumping World.  They knew that these next 2 days were going to be rough.  It was a great distraction.  And a major workout.  As I type this, I am sore.  Here are some highlights:

                             https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7wS2wqtEnU&feature=youtu.be

This reminded me of another night when my loved ones realized (before I did) that I needed a release.

The week I found out I had brain mets was filled with many emotions.  I could tell you that I was scared, confused, frustrated, and sad.  But I would have told you I wasn't angry.  But then my sister suggested that we smash something when I was telling her how I felt.

My younger sister was in town to help.  We decided to buy some dishes from the Dollar Store and smash them in my husband's dumpster behind his work.  This made him very nervous.  Which made us laugh even more.

We decided to dress appropriately for sneaking onto private property and leaving remnants of dishes in the dumpster.

This made us laugh even more.  Which made J even more nervous.  He was seriously worried that we were going to get arrested.  More giggles.

Long story, short - We smashed many plates.  We laughed.  I cried...pretty hard.  (I don't swear often, but I was yelling at cancer and telling it to leave me the f*$@ alone already.)  I guess I was pretty angry.  We laughed some more.  We didn't get "busted".  We drove home feeling a little better and not so angry at the circumstances.

I know I keep saying it, but thank you for being so awesome.  This has really been a team effort.  I know God is here because he shows me every day in the things you are doing.  Thank you.

One last story....I was in the mountains with the boys Oct. 17 - 21.  I think I had too much time to think and wasn't doing well emotionally.  Then I heard of a friend's mother's passing and it really threw me for a loop.  The last night in the mountain, I prayed.  I don't usually pray for signs, but told God I wasn't doing well and needed help.  I needed a sign that everything was going to be okay.  That Tuesday, we got home and there was a package for me from my friend.  I opened it and only read the first part and was bawling.

There was my sign.  And she had to have sent it 3 or 4 days earlier.  Before I had asked for help.  He knew I was going got ask before I did.  He is amazing.