I am guessing that everyone was praying that this round would be much easier for me because it has been. No back pain. No time spent in the bathroom. I have been queasy here and there, but not what I would call nauseous. I will take it!
I lost 17 pounds in 3 weeks. Partly from stress and partly from my new diet. After sharing how much I loved my egg sandwiches, those were taken away from me. It is kind of a joke now. We find something that I really enjoy eating and, after some more research, we decide I shouldn't be eating it. I am just going to keep my mouth shut when I find something I actually like.
I went to Dr. Li Liu. www.acuwellnessatlanta.co After doing a nutritional response test, she said I needed to stay away from eggs, gluten, corn, and fruit. My sister remembers her saying I was allergic to those things. I remember her just saying I needed to stay away from them. Either way, that is why my eggs were taken away. I was eating ezekiel bread, but that is gone too. I am now eating spelt bread. That actually tastes better to me. (Don't tell Lisa!)
There was also a test that shows the true age of my inside body. Not so much physically. Stress and worry will age your insides. Well, being as competitive as I was (and healthy in my mind), I thought for sure I was going to do well. My age? 70!!! WTH. I asked if that was just because of my recent diagnosis or that is how I have always been. She said she can only say what she sees right now and doesn't know why the results are what they are at this time. Lisa is laughing and I am mad which makes her laugh even more. We did acupuncture and Lisa left me to relax saying, "Don't fall off the table, old woman. You might not be able to get back up." I am so lucky I am so loved...
My friend, Bev, introduced us to Frances. She makes raw food out of her house. We have been getting food from her for the last week. It has been so nice because, as you can imagine, making all fresh food takes time. It has been so nice to go to the fridge and grab an all green salad that is already made. And they are very yummy. She also makes green smoothies. They are not as tasty, but Jack helps me drink them by counting off for me and I take big gulps. Hopefully they will taste better soon.
I have been journaling more and am surprised that I look forward to it. I have tried to journal multiple times throughout my life. I have thrown away many journals with 2 or 3 entries in them. I can now add journaler to my list of titles. I need to add yoga into my arsenal and meditating. The flowers (Thank you!) smell wonderful and I have been burning a beeswax candle (thank you, Julie). We are getting there!
Thank you for your continued support, prayers, and sweet messages. I am reading a book about positive thinking and visualizing. I would love continued visualization of Fraggle Rock men blasting the cancer OUT of my body from you. I do think there is something to that. We need to have a showing of Fraggle Rock soon.
Chemo again in two days. Positive thinking - another great week!
#fancer
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Down For The Count
My doctors and nurses said I would handle chemo fine. I was young and in good shape so the side effects would be minimal. All their noses should be bigger when I see them again on Tuesday.
They did say that I would have nervous energy. I will want to clean closets at 3 am. "It doesn't last long so clean that closet."
I woke up Wednesday morning at 4 am just staring at the ceiling. It took me about 15 minutes to realize this was the nervous energy they were talking about. I tried to get back to sleep until 5 and finally went downstairs to watch bad TV.
Wednesday afternoon I started feeling pain in my lower back. As the day got longer, the pain got more intense. I have a high threshold of pain and don't complain. There was a lot of yelping when I had to bend over. Picking up my boys brought tears to my eyes. And I was mad.
I was mad because I felt sick. I ran 10 miles 3 days before we found the lump. 10 miles!! And now I feel bad. It really messed with my head. And I was over my bland, boring diet. I was not in a good place.
Part of this whole process is for me to not hold things in, to let them out, and move on. So when Jason asked me what was wrong, instead of saying nothing like I usually do, I unloaded. "I am tired, I am hurting, I am hungry, and I am scared!"
I went to bed at 9:30 and slept until 8. I woke up Thursday morning with no back pain! I was thinking, "Okay, I can do this. One day of pain and back to feeling normal." It only took about an hour for the pain to slowly come back. And it was worse than yesterday.
I woke up Friday with no pain, but was expecting it to come. It came, but it was significantly less. Once again, I was hoping this was the last of the side effects.
I went to bed Saturday night hoping I was in the clear. I must have woken up 8 to 10 different times VERY NAUSEOUS. I would breath deeply and just try to get back to sleep. I woke up Sunday and wasn't feeling well. I won't go into details, but I spent a lot of time in the bathroom. I was mad again and thinking that I couldn't do this every week for three months.
But, I didn't stay down for long. #fancer
On the advice of Jason, I put on a sweatshirt and sat outside in the sun.
I slowly started feeling better. My food natzi, my sister, Lisa, has added some food to my diet. I got to eat some egg whites, ezekiel bread, tomatoes, and avocado. It helped ease my stomach and my mind.
I am writing this now because I am hoping this is it!!! I am going to go to bed tonight and visualize the chemo and cancer leaving my body. Tomorrow is a new day, a new week, and a new attitude.
Thanks for being here.
They did say that I would have nervous energy. I will want to clean closets at 3 am. "It doesn't last long so clean that closet."
I woke up Wednesday morning at 4 am just staring at the ceiling. It took me about 15 minutes to realize this was the nervous energy they were talking about. I tried to get back to sleep until 5 and finally went downstairs to watch bad TV.
Wednesday afternoon I started feeling pain in my lower back. As the day got longer, the pain got more intense. I have a high threshold of pain and don't complain. There was a lot of yelping when I had to bend over. Picking up my boys brought tears to my eyes. And I was mad.
I was mad because I felt sick. I ran 10 miles 3 days before we found the lump. 10 miles!! And now I feel bad. It really messed with my head. And I was over my bland, boring diet. I was not in a good place.
Part of this whole process is for me to not hold things in, to let them out, and move on. So when Jason asked me what was wrong, instead of saying nothing like I usually do, I unloaded. "I am tired, I am hurting, I am hungry, and I am scared!"
I went to bed at 9:30 and slept until 8. I woke up Thursday morning with no back pain! I was thinking, "Okay, I can do this. One day of pain and back to feeling normal." It only took about an hour for the pain to slowly come back. And it was worse than yesterday.
I woke up Friday with no pain, but was expecting it to come. It came, but it was significantly less. Once again, I was hoping this was the last of the side effects.
I went to bed Saturday night hoping I was in the clear. I must have woken up 8 to 10 different times VERY NAUSEOUS. I would breath deeply and just try to get back to sleep. I woke up Sunday and wasn't feeling well. I won't go into details, but I spent a lot of time in the bathroom. I was mad again and thinking that I couldn't do this every week for three months.
But, I didn't stay down for long. #fancer
On the advice of Jason, I put on a sweatshirt and sat outside in the sun.
I slowly started feeling better. My food natzi, my sister, Lisa, has added some food to my diet. I got to eat some egg whites, ezekiel bread, tomatoes, and avocado. It helped ease my stomach and my mind.
I am writing this now because I am hoping this is it!!! I am going to go to bed tonight and visualize the chemo and cancer leaving my body. Tomorrow is a new day, a new week, and a new attitude.
Thanks for being here.
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
I'd Rather Be Running...
It seems like it has been much longer than 2 days since I last updated everyone.
We had our first meeting of Dawn's Treatment Board on Sunday. We invited over 5 people and my big sis. My little sis was on speaker phone from Memphis. My mother was on another speaker phone from Fort Lauderdale. We talked for over 2 hours. We explored all the options. We shared stories. We cried. We laughed. We prayed. It was really good.
Where was my head at on Sunday night? I felt we had done enough research for now and it was time to choose someone to start administering my chemo. All the doctors said that the protocol that Volas-Redd (current oncologist) prescribed was the way to go. So at this point, we just needed a doctor to order them and get them in my body.
I knew all along that we would do chemo. Maybe not all of what she prescribed, and maybe not those types, but some kind of chemo. In my mind, I still don't know how much I want to do, but I did know that I wanted to get some chemo in me. We had waited 2 weeks (and aren't sure how fast the cancer is growing) and that was long enough.
Monday around noon, we met with Dr. Bradford at the IPT Center. http://www.immunerecovery.net. We were really excited about this treatment. I won't try to explain it to you. I got the gist of it: build your immunity up to help with the chemo (they would only use about 10% of chemo prescribed) and then your immune system actually becomes another "treatment". Something else killing off the cells. There is more to it, but that is all I got for you. Unfortunately, we found some things out about the business side of it and are now weary of that particular clinic/doctor...
Last night, Jason and I talked. We decided to go back to see Volas-Redd. Be more frank with her. Let her know what I wanted to do.
We woke up this morning. Jason went to the office to demand to see the doctor. Go, Jason! I slept in. Our hope was that he would get an appointment to see Volas-Redd and discuss everything. I was going to go for a run and get some more supplies for my arsenal. I have not run since my diagnosis. It was time to see how my body was feeling after 2 weeks of crying, being scared, not sleeping, eating vegan and no sugar, and just feel alive. I was so ready for a run.
As I was putting on my running clothes, Jason called and said that she can see us as soon as I get there. So I went to the office in my running clothes because I would have time to go afterwards.
Dr. Volas-Redd was receptive. I was to the point and almost forceful that I needed a doctor that was less robotic and more comforting. Most importantly, I needed a doctor to agree with the holistic part of the arsenal.
The conversation went very well. She was much more comforting and patient in answering my questions and explaining things.
This is what she wants to do.
- Chemo (3 drugs: Herceptin, Taxol, and Perjeta) every week. Side effects will be minimal. Probably won't bat an eyelash. My hair will thin very slowly before falling out.
-Two shots to put my body in menopause to stop my body from producing hormones which is fueling the cancer. We would do the shots only once a month. Side effects are joint pain for about 2 weeks after the shot. I asked her if there was long term effects of that and she said no. She thinks since I am in excellent health (funny, huh?) and the joint pain will be minimal. She is worried that I am getting too lean though. They are also checking me for low iron since I am not eating meat.
-We will be taking out my ovaries. Just not sure when. Could be as early as 3 months from now or as late as 6 months from now. If we did that first, probably would take about a week to schedule the appointment. Then there is down time when I couldn't start surgery until my body healed from the surgery. I WAS not comfortable waiting that long to get some chemo in me.
-She has been looking for a trial for me this whole time. In fact, there was one trial I ALMOST qualified for but I had to be post menopausal. She said she would have yanked my ovaries if that was the only thing keeping me from it, but it closed 3 weeks ago. 1 week shy of my diagnosis!!
- We will do another PET scan in 3 months. (What is everyone's opinion on the safety/dangers of PET scans?) Then reassess. I like this because if we truly believe (and I do) that this diet is working, then we should see some great results and maybe, at that point, we could do less chemo, stop them altogether, or do other treatments.
-She is into holistic treatment and believes in it whole heartedly. She is a Lupus patient and says she is in less pain because of her diet.
There was more crying and fear and frustration, but I told her I wanted a day to digest and we would start chemo tomorrow (12/10/14). She said I can do what I want, but she would not be here tomorrow and she has to be. But she could finagle a way for one of her partners to administer it. I was good with that.
But other things we thought about: Tuesdays don't interfere with holidays. I had to do that one time - switch my schedule around for chemo and it is not fun. Also, on Tuesdays, the boys are in school. I know we have tons of friends who would glad play with them, but it is just smart.
So guess where I am?
To recap, we are still looking to see if we want to see another oncologist. We can switch at any time. But we are looking for a breast cancer oncologist. Not a general oncologist. My arsenal isn't set in stone. It is ever changing. We are taking things out of that backpack and putting other things in. I am strong. I can handle a heavy backpack.
We had our first meeting of Dawn's Treatment Board on Sunday. We invited over 5 people and my big sis. My little sis was on speaker phone from Memphis. My mother was on another speaker phone from Fort Lauderdale. We talked for over 2 hours. We explored all the options. We shared stories. We cried. We laughed. We prayed. It was really good.
Where was my head at on Sunday night? I felt we had done enough research for now and it was time to choose someone to start administering my chemo. All the doctors said that the protocol that Volas-Redd (current oncologist) prescribed was the way to go. So at this point, we just needed a doctor to order them and get them in my body.
I knew all along that we would do chemo. Maybe not all of what she prescribed, and maybe not those types, but some kind of chemo. In my mind, I still don't know how much I want to do, but I did know that I wanted to get some chemo in me. We had waited 2 weeks (and aren't sure how fast the cancer is growing) and that was long enough.
Monday around noon, we met with Dr. Bradford at the IPT Center. http://www.immunerecovery.net. We were really excited about this treatment. I won't try to explain it to you. I got the gist of it: build your immunity up to help with the chemo (they would only use about 10% of chemo prescribed) and then your immune system actually becomes another "treatment". Something else killing off the cells. There is more to it, but that is all I got for you. Unfortunately, we found some things out about the business side of it and are now weary of that particular clinic/doctor...
Last night, Jason and I talked. We decided to go back to see Volas-Redd. Be more frank with her. Let her know what I wanted to do.
We woke up this morning. Jason went to the office to demand to see the doctor. Go, Jason! I slept in. Our hope was that he would get an appointment to see Volas-Redd and discuss everything. I was going to go for a run and get some more supplies for my arsenal. I have not run since my diagnosis. It was time to see how my body was feeling after 2 weeks of crying, being scared, not sleeping, eating vegan and no sugar, and just feel alive. I was so ready for a run.
As I was putting on my running clothes, Jason called and said that she can see us as soon as I get there. So I went to the office in my running clothes because I would have time to go afterwards.
Dr. Volas-Redd was receptive. I was to the point and almost forceful that I needed a doctor that was less robotic and more comforting. Most importantly, I needed a doctor to agree with the holistic part of the arsenal.
The conversation went very well. She was much more comforting and patient in answering my questions and explaining things.
This is what she wants to do.
- Chemo (3 drugs: Herceptin, Taxol, and Perjeta) every week. Side effects will be minimal. Probably won't bat an eyelash. My hair will thin very slowly before falling out.
-Two shots to put my body in menopause to stop my body from producing hormones which is fueling the cancer. We would do the shots only once a month. Side effects are joint pain for about 2 weeks after the shot. I asked her if there was long term effects of that and she said no. She thinks since I am in excellent health (funny, huh?) and the joint pain will be minimal. She is worried that I am getting too lean though. They are also checking me for low iron since I am not eating meat.
-We will be taking out my ovaries. Just not sure when. Could be as early as 3 months from now or as late as 6 months from now. If we did that first, probably would take about a week to schedule the appointment. Then there is down time when I couldn't start surgery until my body healed from the surgery. I WAS not comfortable waiting that long to get some chemo in me.
-She has been looking for a trial for me this whole time. In fact, there was one trial I ALMOST qualified for but I had to be post menopausal. She said she would have yanked my ovaries if that was the only thing keeping me from it, but it closed 3 weeks ago. 1 week shy of my diagnosis!!
- We will do another PET scan in 3 months. (What is everyone's opinion on the safety/dangers of PET scans?) Then reassess. I like this because if we truly believe (and I do) that this diet is working, then we should see some great results and maybe, at that point, we could do less chemo, stop them altogether, or do other treatments.
-She is into holistic treatment and believes in it whole heartedly. She is a Lupus patient and says she is in less pain because of her diet.
There was more crying and fear and frustration, but I told her I wanted a day to digest and we would start chemo tomorrow (12/10/14). She said I can do what I want, but she would not be here tomorrow and she has to be. But she could finagle a way for one of her partners to administer it. I was good with that.
But other things we thought about: Tuesdays don't interfere with holidays. I had to do that one time - switch my schedule around for chemo and it is not fun. Also, on Tuesdays, the boys are in school. I know we have tons of friends who would glad play with them, but it is just smart.
So guess where I am?
 |
| I'd rather be running, but ready to do this! |
I know that God is at work here. I do not believe he has anything to do with cancer. But he is putting people in my path and having different options come to us via friends and family. You guys are his angles, and now mine. Thank you.
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Grateful
Do you realize that each and everyone one of you is helping me kick cancer's a&$?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
MD Anderson
The alarm went off at 4:30 am. At the airport by 6:30. In Houston by 9 am.
We decided to register early for our appointment at 1:00. The lady registering us was not nice. She wasn't mean, but not nice. I thought MD was about hugs and hope. We should have known then and there we weren't going to get what we came for...
We found a quiet library to wait, eat my greens, check email, etc. Around 12:45, we checked in. We were told to wait in the waiting room. We waited for over 2.5 hours. Jason got more and more nervous as time ticked away.
We are walked to our room at 3:15 finally. Waited some more for Dr. Booser to come in and talk to us. He went over my history, did a physical exam, and went to consult with someone. I put my clothes back on and waited. He couldn't find a colleague so began his advice. I will summarize:
- He did validate my thoughts that the chemo didn't work. He said that the cancer we are seeing now has probably always been in my body. On one hand, it was nice to have my feelings validated, but on the other hand, it was scary to think about that.
- I will always have cancer in my body.
- We will hope to reduce it with drugs, keep it dormant, and hope it doesn't rear it's ugly head again.
- The protocol they are suggesting is Herceptin (which I did for a full year every three years), Taxol (closely related to Taxitere which I also took), and a new drug called Pertuzumab. He said that since I did Herceptin for a full year and we are seeing cancer, this may not work. It didn't work the first time. But combined with the new drug, Pertuzumab, it may have a different effect.
- There is always a chance the cancer would go away, but that doesn't happen often. Just those special cases. (Apparently he doesn't know who I am!)
- No clinical trials that I qualify for and he didn't think there ever would be??
- He agrees with the protocol my current doctor suggested. But listed all these side effects like numbness of fingers and toes, bone damage that would send me to a wheelchair permanently, and other damage to my body.
- He did suggest another option. Hormone Therapy. Keep in mind, I am not a medical person, I was exhausted, and our hopes had already been squashed at this point. I hope I am remembering what he said. Jason wrote it all down. Anyway, take out my ovaries and tubes. Since my cancer is fueled by hormones, eliminating what produces those, could help. I think this was done with some pills also.
- We brought up diet and holistic approaches. He pretty much laughed at us. I thought they were open to this so more frustration.
I know it is about finding the right doctor. I hope Booser isn't indicative of the entire hospital. I don't think so, but we don't have the time to keep going back there. Maybe that is our sign that MD isn't for us.
We finished at 5 and hoped to make our flight at 6:09. I really didn't think we would. We got to the airport at 5:35. But it is a small airport so we made it with about ten minutes to spare. But we were those people running through the airport yelling, "Excuse us, excuse us!"
I sat on the plane and sobbed. What a disappointing day. I was glad we made the flight because I just wanted my bed. We walked into our house at 10:30 and I was almost as low as I was when we found out the cancer had returned. I just wanted to sleep and start over again the next day.
I woke up today feeling better. I drank my water, ate more greens and quinoa, journaled, rested, played with my boys, and tried to refocus on the positive.
I want to post about what we are looking for in a doctor. I am tired and need to get to bed, but will write that as soon as I can. That is really our next important step. To find someone to help us navigate all of this. You guys have been so awesome. I know that I am going to get a plethora of names as soon as I post.
Jason is making my sewer drink. I must go drink and visualize. Love you all!!!
We decided to register early for our appointment at 1:00. The lady registering us was not nice. She wasn't mean, but not nice. I thought MD was about hugs and hope. We should have known then and there we weren't going to get what we came for...
We found a quiet library to wait, eat my greens, check email, etc. Around 12:45, we checked in. We were told to wait in the waiting room. We waited for over 2.5 hours. Jason got more and more nervous as time ticked away.
We are walked to our room at 3:15 finally. Waited some more for Dr. Booser to come in and talk to us. He went over my history, did a physical exam, and went to consult with someone. I put my clothes back on and waited. He couldn't find a colleague so began his advice. I will summarize:
- He did validate my thoughts that the chemo didn't work. He said that the cancer we are seeing now has probably always been in my body. On one hand, it was nice to have my feelings validated, but on the other hand, it was scary to think about that.
- I will always have cancer in my body.
- We will hope to reduce it with drugs, keep it dormant, and hope it doesn't rear it's ugly head again.
- The protocol they are suggesting is Herceptin (which I did for a full year every three years), Taxol (closely related to Taxitere which I also took), and a new drug called Pertuzumab. He said that since I did Herceptin for a full year and we are seeing cancer, this may not work. It didn't work the first time. But combined with the new drug, Pertuzumab, it may have a different effect.
- There is always a chance the cancer would go away, but that doesn't happen often. Just those special cases. (Apparently he doesn't know who I am!)
- No clinical trials that I qualify for and he didn't think there ever would be??
- He agrees with the protocol my current doctor suggested. But listed all these side effects like numbness of fingers and toes, bone damage that would send me to a wheelchair permanently, and other damage to my body.
- He did suggest another option. Hormone Therapy. Keep in mind, I am not a medical person, I was exhausted, and our hopes had already been squashed at this point. I hope I am remembering what he said. Jason wrote it all down. Anyway, take out my ovaries and tubes. Since my cancer is fueled by hormones, eliminating what produces those, could help. I think this was done with some pills also.
- We brought up diet and holistic approaches. He pretty much laughed at us. I thought they were open to this so more frustration.
I know it is about finding the right doctor. I hope Booser isn't indicative of the entire hospital. I don't think so, but we don't have the time to keep going back there. Maybe that is our sign that MD isn't for us.
We finished at 5 and hoped to make our flight at 6:09. I really didn't think we would. We got to the airport at 5:35. But it is a small airport so we made it with about ten minutes to spare. But we were those people running through the airport yelling, "Excuse us, excuse us!"
I sat on the plane and sobbed. What a disappointing day. I was glad we made the flight because I just wanted my bed. We walked into our house at 10:30 and I was almost as low as I was when we found out the cancer had returned. I just wanted to sleep and start over again the next day.
I woke up today feeling better. I drank my water, ate more greens and quinoa, journaled, rested, played with my boys, and tried to refocus on the positive.
I want to post about what we are looking for in a doctor. I am tired and need to get to bed, but will write that as soon as I can. That is really our next important step. To find someone to help us navigate all of this. You guys have been so awesome. I know that I am going to get a plethora of names as soon as I post.
Jason is making my sewer drink. I must go drink and visualize. Love you all!!!
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Results Are In
We got the results...........HER2 positive breast cancer.
Seems strange to be excited about breast cancer, but I am!
Seems strange to be excited about breast cancer, but I am!
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
More Updates
Here are some quick updates:
-Apparently we were confused. The surgeon who removed my tumor said we should hear something by Thursday. So when my oncologist set up an appointment for tomorrow at 10, we just assumed it was to go over the test results. Well, that is not the case. She had us make the appointment because she wants to give me 2 shots. She wants to give me medication before we have results???? I don't like that. I have decided to tell her no to the shots until we have all our information.
-We spoke with a new oncologist today at Piedmont. We left there feeling more informed. We also found out that they have a Wellness Center. It has been there for 9 years. It is free to anyone receiving chemo and up to 18 months out (I think I heard that right). It provides yoga, meditation classes, journaling classes, seat massages, couples support groups, chefs (who are cancer survivors) who teach classes on what to eat and how to prepare it, and various other services. For free. Why am I just hearing about this?
-We got some answers. Again, I am not a medical person and am still in a daze. But this new oncologist (who had a fellowship at MD Anderson), Dr. Miniberg, did clarify that the spots were small. Still cancer, but that calmed me a little. He also suggested we don't do the shots until we know more. He said that MD Anderson has trials all the time and we could eliminate ourselves from one or all if we have those particular drugs in me.
-We are heading to MD Anderson on Friday. We will go for the day and fly back home Friday night. We will be meeting with an oncologist there and trying to find more avenues to explore. We are nervous and excited at the same time. Our hope is that once we get all this information, we can sit down and come up with a plan.
I am going to go do my sewer drink now. Help me picture little Fraggle Rock men blasting this cancer away.
-Apparently we were confused. The surgeon who removed my tumor said we should hear something by Thursday. So when my oncologist set up an appointment for tomorrow at 10, we just assumed it was to go over the test results. Well, that is not the case. She had us make the appointment because she wants to give me 2 shots. She wants to give me medication before we have results???? I don't like that. I have decided to tell her no to the shots until we have all our information.
-We spoke with a new oncologist today at Piedmont. We left there feeling more informed. We also found out that they have a Wellness Center. It has been there for 9 years. It is free to anyone receiving chemo and up to 18 months out (I think I heard that right). It provides yoga, meditation classes, journaling classes, seat massages, couples support groups, chefs (who are cancer survivors) who teach classes on what to eat and how to prepare it, and various other services. For free. Why am I just hearing about this?
-We got some answers. Again, I am not a medical person and am still in a daze. But this new oncologist (who had a fellowship at MD Anderson), Dr. Miniberg, did clarify that the spots were small. Still cancer, but that calmed me a little. He also suggested we don't do the shots until we know more. He said that MD Anderson has trials all the time and we could eliminate ourselves from one or all if we have those particular drugs in me.
-We are heading to MD Anderson on Friday. We will go for the day and fly back home Friday night. We will be meeting with an oncologist there and trying to find more avenues to explore. We are nervous and excited at the same time. Our hope is that once we get all this information, we can sit down and come up with a plan.
I am going to go do my sewer drink now. Help me picture little Fraggle Rock men blasting this cancer away.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
My New Day
I don't even know how to thank everyone for the texts, emails, FB messages, and love we received today. I loved the thought of everyone visualizing my cancer leaving my body. Dr. Parikh said it was surprisingly easy to remove the WHOLE tumor. What do you think? I think it worked!!! Keep in mind, although this sounds good, there is a lot more cancer inside of me. Yes, we got some out, but this wasn't any new news. That comes on Thursday at 10 when we go back to my oncologist to hear the results.
As I have said, this week (has it really been a week already??) we have been researching and learning and researching some more. I will try to be short and sweet and to the point.
MY DIET:
On Wednesday, my sister came over with hope. She had been to see an oncology nutritionalist. She believes she can cure me in 4 to 6 months WITHOUT chemo. (More on that later.) I immediately started a zero, zilch sugar diet. (Cancer feeds on sugar) Only lean meats, green veggies, and quinoa. I did that until Friday when Jason and myself went back with my sister to see Karen, the nutritionalist. We decided to really be aggressive. So no more meats. So since Friday, I have eaten quinoa (which has been a treat for me because in the last year I have hardly had grains due to the Paleo Diet I was following), greens veggies, amino acids, garlic, spices, and Kangen water. That is it. Nothing else. And I am okay with that.
We also added to our arsenal/back pack (which I have been calling it) these lovely supplements. We have added colloidal water and wheat grass since I took this picture.
The alkalizer & detoxifier is my favorite (she says sarcastically).
We have lovingly nicknamed it Sewer Water.
I have to do it three times a day. It is nasty! When I drank it at first (once I stopped gagging), I was chanting, "Kill the cancer cells, kill the cancer cells." I have also enlisted the help of my family. The boys will count down for me and then I feel like I have to drink it. After we started visualizing, I started visualizing this drink going down to my stomach and then blasting up like fireworks and chipping away at the cancer.
This diet is going to make it difficult for people to bring us food. My sister suggested maybe having people bring food for the boys. But after all the research we have done, not sure what we are going to be comfortable putting in their bodies. Not as strict as me, of course, but definitely not what we have been doing.
Here comes the hard part. Being frank and asking what I need. Not easy for me....
Okay. Onto my new schedule. We have decided to create a day that includes resting for 2 to 3 hours. Now as mothers, we are probably like "Hells Yay!" But think about that realistically. 3 hours without your children. 3 hours without electronics. 3 hours of alone time. 3 hours with only Dawn as company. I didn't think I could do it. I argued with Manana (explanation below). I just didn't know how I could do this. I had too much too do. But then it hit me. I need to survive. I need to be alive for my 3 boys. I need to rest so I can be here. I need to learn this now before it is too late. I am not too busy for that.
Yesterday, I didn't do it. I did go up in my room, but used the time to organize all the information we had received. But then actually took a 45 minute nap. Today? 3 hours in my room following the rules. I had soothing music on. The windows were open. I had hot tea. And I journaled. I am supposed to add meditation, fresh flowers, and White Seven Day Candles. But I think I am off to a good start.
This is getting long so let me stop there. I will just tell you the schedule we have come up with and where my needs are right now. Then I will post more specifically and tell you why we are doing it. It is actually very cool. And I hope help others to think about adopting some of these practices into their lives.
We Skyped with Manana from Belize. She is another person who believes in naturally healing and curing of cancer without chemo. You can read about her at http://mananashealinghouse.blogspot.com. She agrees whole heartily with my diet. She is the one who told us we need to create a schedule that includes meditation, yoga, 10-15 minutes of Vitamin D exposure from the sun, journaling, visualizing, exercise, Dawn's Rest Time, and general positive thoughts.
So this is what we came up with....
Getting boys to school (M, T, Th) and using that time (9 - 12) to get things done, BUT without taxing myself. Pick boys up at 12. Go out back and get sunshine, play with boys, laugh, get love from them, eat lunch.
Put Charlie down by 1:30. And then my rest time begins at 2 and should go until 5. (This is where I will need help because Jack does not nap anymore.)
5 to 8 is family time. Dance party, laughing, game playing, wrestling, dinner, eating, baths, reading to the boys, and bed.
8 to 10 is Jason and Dawn time. And I HAVE to be in bed by 10.
And this is where I am going to reach out for help. Will need help from 2 to 5 to play with Jack. I feel so guilty in asking. "Hey, come watch my boys while I relax and eat bon bons." But that is exactly what I am learning - it is about perspective. I am not relaxing and being lazy. I am healing my body. I am fighting this cancer by being as strong, mentally and physically, as I can.
While writing this, I have had 16 ounces of Kangen water, quinoa with garlic and kale, and asparagus with onions and garlic. And while I was writing this, I am still receiving texts, emails, and FB messages of love. I am sure that Manana would approve.
As I have said, this week (has it really been a week already??) we have been researching and learning and researching some more. I will try to be short and sweet and to the point.
MY DIET:
On Wednesday, my sister came over with hope. She had been to see an oncology nutritionalist. She believes she can cure me in 4 to 6 months WITHOUT chemo. (More on that later.) I immediately started a zero, zilch sugar diet. (Cancer feeds on sugar) Only lean meats, green veggies, and quinoa. I did that until Friday when Jason and myself went back with my sister to see Karen, the nutritionalist. We decided to really be aggressive. So no more meats. So since Friday, I have eaten quinoa (which has been a treat for me because in the last year I have hardly had grains due to the Paleo Diet I was following), greens veggies, amino acids, garlic, spices, and Kangen water. That is it. Nothing else. And I am okay with that.
We also added to our arsenal/back pack (which I have been calling it) these lovely supplements. We have added colloidal water and wheat grass since I took this picture.
We have lovingly nicknamed it Sewer Water.
I have to do it three times a day. It is nasty! When I drank it at first (once I stopped gagging), I was chanting, "Kill the cancer cells, kill the cancer cells." I have also enlisted the help of my family. The boys will count down for me and then I feel like I have to drink it. After we started visualizing, I started visualizing this drink going down to my stomach and then blasting up like fireworks and chipping away at the cancer.
This diet is going to make it difficult for people to bring us food. My sister suggested maybe having people bring food for the boys. But after all the research we have done, not sure what we are going to be comfortable putting in their bodies. Not as strict as me, of course, but definitely not what we have been doing.
Here comes the hard part. Being frank and asking what I need. Not easy for me....
We are being VERY EXTREME. But that is my situation. So nothing foreign in my body. So trying to use only glassware. I have to use a tablespoon twice a day to measure out my supplements. I thought it would be fun to have a glass full of tablespoons from friends with a funny saying or a word of encouragement or just a funny design on the handle. But they would have to be glass. Does anyone know if such a thing exists? I also have to do 4 tablespoons of the mineral water. A small glass that equals 4 tablespoons that you could put a saying on? Thinking outside of the box, friends.
Okay. Onto my new schedule. We have decided to create a day that includes resting for 2 to 3 hours. Now as mothers, we are probably like "Hells Yay!" But think about that realistically. 3 hours without your children. 3 hours without electronics. 3 hours of alone time. 3 hours with only Dawn as company. I didn't think I could do it. I argued with Manana (explanation below). I just didn't know how I could do this. I had too much too do. But then it hit me. I need to survive. I need to be alive for my 3 boys. I need to rest so I can be here. I need to learn this now before it is too late. I am not too busy for that.
Yesterday, I didn't do it. I did go up in my room, but used the time to organize all the information we had received. But then actually took a 45 minute nap. Today? 3 hours in my room following the rules. I had soothing music on. The windows were open. I had hot tea. And I journaled. I am supposed to add meditation, fresh flowers, and White Seven Day Candles. But I think I am off to a good start.
This is getting long so let me stop there. I will just tell you the schedule we have come up with and where my needs are right now. Then I will post more specifically and tell you why we are doing it. It is actually very cool. And I hope help others to think about adopting some of these practices into their lives.
We Skyped with Manana from Belize. She is another person who believes in naturally healing and curing of cancer without chemo. You can read about her at http://mananashealinghouse.blogspot.com. She agrees whole heartily with my diet. She is the one who told us we need to create a schedule that includes meditation, yoga, 10-15 minutes of Vitamin D exposure from the sun, journaling, visualizing, exercise, Dawn's Rest Time, and general positive thoughts.
So this is what we came up with....
Getting boys to school (M, T, Th) and using that time (9 - 12) to get things done, BUT without taxing myself. Pick boys up at 12. Go out back and get sunshine, play with boys, laugh, get love from them, eat lunch.
Put Charlie down by 1:30. And then my rest time begins at 2 and should go until 5. (This is where I will need help because Jack does not nap anymore.)
5 to 8 is family time. Dance party, laughing, game playing, wrestling, dinner, eating, baths, reading to the boys, and bed.
8 to 10 is Jason and Dawn time. And I HAVE to be in bed by 10.
And this is where I am going to reach out for help. Will need help from 2 to 5 to play with Jack. I feel so guilty in asking. "Hey, come watch my boys while I relax and eat bon bons." But that is exactly what I am learning - it is about perspective. I am not relaxing and being lazy. I am healing my body. I am fighting this cancer by being as strong, mentally and physically, as I can.
While writing this, I have had 16 ounces of Kangen water, quinoa with garlic and kale, and asparagus with onions and garlic. And while I was writing this, I am still receiving texts, emails, and FB messages of love. I am sure that Manana would approve.
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