What Did You Call Me?!?

It was a simple conversation.  I was telling my friend that I had responded to something my son had said with, "Yes, Son, I did."  As I drove home, it just hit me - I am a mother.  I have a son.  I have two sons!  I like those titles.  They are titles I hoped to have one day.  There are other titles I also wish to have one day, but they still haven't happened.  And then my mind wouldn't turn off...

It starts very early.  We strive for titles.  Spelling Bee Champ.  MVP.  Winner of the Talent Show.

Then it becomes more intense.  College graduate.  Summa cum laude.

Then more emotional.  Girlfriend.  Fiance.  Wife.  Mother.

And then it gets damaging.  Thrower of the best party.  Owner of the biggest house.  Running ragged to be mother of the year.  Starving to look like someone else.  Sacrificing who you are for others.

And most of us just become lost.

I love Facebook.  I have heard negative comments too.  (I will save that for another post.)  But I love FB.  I keep in touch with friends.  I see pictures of their beautiful families.  I get ideas on things I can do around my house, things I can do with my family, and things I can do for myself.

But that can be damaging also.  We can see something on there and let it make us feel inferior.  Let it make us feel like a lesser mother.  Or wife.  Or friend.  But that is just trying to be someone you are not.  Why do we do that?  Concentrate on the negatives instead of seeing all the positives in are lives?

I have a friend who has it all.  She is beautiful.  Her husband is too.  Two beautiful children.  Her own business.  The cutest house.  And she is just as beautiful on the inside.  I don't feel that she struggles with these things.  They are just who she is.  She is a mother, wife, entrepreneur, home owner, an awesome decorator, and a wonderful friend.  

But I will admit, I saw pictures of how her house was decorated for the holidays, and I thought, "I love that!  I am going to do something like that."  But then a week went by and another and Christmas was fast approaching and it started causing me stress instead of making me smile at the thought of it.

And then I stopped.  Because I realized that is not one of my titles.  I don't have that kind of creative bone it my body.  I think you can become a title you weren't before, but only if it doesn't come with a lot of stress.  If you are stressing about it too much, let it go.

So I did.

I will probably not ever have a house you would see in a magazine.  I will not be dressed to the nines  every time you see me.  I will not always have on the latest and cutest clothes.  I will not have my kids in the latest styles either.  I will not always say the right thing in social settings.  And, lately, my hair will not always be coiffed in the right way!

I think it is time for us to think about the titles that we are already.  The titles that we are because it is who we are without trying too hard.

As hard as it is for us mothers to do this, I am going to list the things that I am good at doing.  The titles that make my heart smile.  The titles that fill me with peace.  The titles that make up who I am, not who I hope to be one day.

Child of God
Daughter
Sister
Wife
Mother
Teacher
Runner
Survivor
Forgiver
Voracious Reader
Delicious Cook
Fun Baker
Lover of Board Games
Planner of Fun Get Togethers
Nerf War Champion
Fort Builder
Creator of Laughs
Night Time Reader of Books
Adventurer
Hugger
Get On The Floor and Get Dirty With My Kids Mother

It was hard for me to just type.  To not think what I should be or would like to be or what she or he is and I want to be also.  I just typed.

So let go of the titles that just aren't you and concentrate on the ones that ARE you.  Let 2014 be the year you embrace who are and not who you are hoping to be one day.  Concentrate on the good and let go of the bad.

What about you?  What titles come to mind when you think who and what you are right now?  Don't think and just type.

(That wasn't a rhetorical question.  I would love to hear your titles.)