Update

I have finally gotten a few minutes to update everyone.

First of all, thank you again for all the texts, emails, cards, FB messages/posts, and prayers.  Once again, we are overwhelmed by our friends and know we are loved.

As my last post said, it is cancer.  It is in my hip, in my lung, and in my chest.  It isn't good.

Stage 4 and metastasized were said.  I don't know how I didn't faint.  Thankfully my nurse came in and explained what those words truly mean.  Stage 4 is scary!!!  She explained that any time cancer returns, it is stage 4.  Still scary, but not as much.  Metastasized is scary too.  But fundamentally it just means it has spread.  Information we already knew without those scary words.

The plan is to do 6 months of chemo EVERY week.  Reassess after 6 months and go from there.

My oncologist mentioned being on chemo the rest of my life.  This just isn't good.

That was where we were at on Tuesday.  I have cried.  I have screamed.  I have cursed.  I have cried some more.  These last few days have been a whirlwind.

On Wednesday morning, my port was put back in.  Might be just as mad about that.

I have asked friends to do research.  But only if this is your thing!  Don't be sending me random research.  :-) We are collecting information.  I need concrete information.  Concrete success stories.  Other options.

I am going to throw out some of our (mine and my family/friends) thoughts.  Because maybe it will trigger something with someone.  And that is what we need.  To think outside the box.

Chemo didn't work.  You can argue and say, "But you were cancer free."  Well, this was my first PET scan.  How do we know the cancer wasn't there before?  I asked my oncologist about 6 months after I started treatment when my scan would be.  She asked, "What scan?"  The one that everyone gets and posts on Facebook saying their scan was clean.  Another year cancer free!  She said that the day we took out the tumor and it hadn't spread was the day I was deemed cancer free.  There was no indication it would return so no scans.  BUT HOW DO WE KNOW THE CHEMO WORKED??

We will more than likely do some chemo, but honestly feel that we need to be doing more.  We need to think outside of the box.  We need doctors who think outside of the box.

We are in the process of hopefully (cross your fingers) getting into see someone at MD Anderson.  It is time to be as aggressive as this damn cancer.  It is time to do more than just assume what my doctor says is the way to go or the ONLY way to go.

My sister came on Wednesday with hope.  (A post to follow soon).  I am on a strict diet.  It is like Paleo on steroids.  I will write more on that later, but I know making a meal is what comes to mind when you get news like this.  Please don't send any food at this point.  We are researching the best things to put in my body right now.

We were not given good news on Tuesday.  But today is Sunday and I have some hope.  It is small, but it is there.  This is not good, but I am hoping one day VERY SOON, it will be good.