Tijuana - Day 15

Last Monday here.  It has gone fast.  I am happy and scared.  Happy because we are getting complete healing.  Scared because this is a new chapter in my life.

How do I navigate it?  How do I realize that I deserve this and it is time to stop worrying and just be happy?

When something comes up where action needs to be taken to rectify the situation, it helps me to start to organize.  What needs to be done?  How do I accomplish that?  How long will it take? Will the final result be what I want if I do it?

When we talked abut Hope4Cancer, we knew that I needed to go and get the right meds and heal.  I accomplish that by going, being selfish, doing what they tell me, and heal.  It will probably take the better of a year to get complete healing.  The final result will be physical and spiritual healing.  

But when I go home, what will that continued healing look like?  There will be less actions to take.  Not as many treatments.  Will that make me nervous?  Will I worry that it is not enough?

I am journaling and meditating on it.  I know I have to fill those hours, when I feel like I should be doing something tangible, with continued rest and healing.  Otherwise this will have been a waste of time.

But we aren’t always that smart, are we?  I am glad that I realized this so I can get it straight in my head before I come home.  I have kept my phone off for most of the time.  I have rested whenever my body told me I needed it.  But that is easy when I have no obligation except to take the time to heal.  

It will be good to get back to my wonderful life and do the things I have been missing.  But I HAVE to be careful about what this will look like.  I will continue to explore this and let you know what comes up in this head of mine.....

Took a picture of the Pizza Bake for you.  

I have been watching movies while in the Pizza bake (Hyperbaric Chamber).  It keeps me from thinking about being baked like a pizza for 45 minutes.  I got my body temperature up to 102.2 the other day.  Kill those cells, pizza bake.  

I have watched:

• Pride and Prejudice
• About Time
• Every After
• Like Dandelion Dust
• Four Christmases
• Man up
• Princess Bride
• Human Experiment (documentary)
• Forks Over Knives (documentary)

Anyone have a suggestion of I movie I can watch for free on Netflix?

Tomorrow is UVBI again. I am going to ask if I can keep the twirly thing that my blood goes through.

My PIC line (Subclavian Catheter).  All IVs go through this sucker ($500).