65 F
Woke up several times during the night VERY dizzy, continued the whole day, moving my head even slightly fast, or bending down quickly, made me have to stop and breath heavy.
Woke at 5 and posted while eating an apple I asked for at dinner for just this reason.
Pancakes for breakfast with spelt bread! Eggs and fruit. (2 servings of course!)
Saw the doctor today. Ultrasound results - no evidence of disease in the chest or stomach or organs. Woot- woot. An ultrasound cannot detect small diseases, but doctor felt great about results. As did I.
We talked about reducing my steroids, which is why I can't sleep. I am on 4 mg/4 times a day taking my last one pretty late. We decided on 4 mg/3 times a day taking the last one at 3. He also prescribed an herbal sleep aid. As he said, if I am not sleeping, I am not healing. I am ready to sleep.
He did a test that revealed my thyroid might not be working properly. My cortisol levels are low. My cholesterol is high. (What!?) I have bacteria and inflammation. Could be from chemo, stress, etc. I now have supplements. Ordered and will start taking soon.
Dinner was a stuffed pepper with quinoa and veggies with a yummy sauce, small salad, and soup. Two servings.
I am still hungry all the time. And the servings are a good. Not Dawn-size like I eat at home, but sufficient. And I am eating two. We eat at 8 am, 1 pm, and 5:30 pm. I am used to eating every 2/3 hours. I asked if I could have another meal to take to my room to eat later. Yes and they delivered it. I ate it around 8. I am sitting here at 4:30 eating an apple and am still hungry. I might come back 20 pounds heavier!
I was going to run on the treadmill, but still wasn't feeling that well around dinner time. Listened to my body and just did my push-ups and some twists with a dumbbell.
I have a neighbor. He is here with his wife. They didn't seem to leave the room often. Finally stopped by to talk to her. They have been here for 2 months. No, that is not normal. I may get some of this wrong, but was given bad news. Like days. They came here. Sounds like it was scary, but he was still here! Yesterday, he got out of bed for the first time in two months. I say a lot of activity going on, but gave them their space. When things calmed down, I went in. He was out on the balcony for the first time, sitting up, talking, laughing, and I started crying.
Have only heard about miracles in this place. I feel like everyone should come here for four days and experience these treatments (which are so wonderful and make so much more sense than tradition medicine). The love and sharing and miracles walking around are overwhelming.
People have come and gone already in the five days I have been here. Some for their initial visit (typically 3 weeks) and some for followups. And I have only heard good news.
"Lots of shrinking tumors."
"Still clear."
"3-years clear. "
"They are gone."
"Tumor was 6 CM, now it is .08."
This is how I feel this disease should be handled. With love and compassion and laughter. Not sitting in a chair for hours getting toxins pumped in your veins. Being told you are sick. Being told you will feel sicker after treatments. And I think most of, whether we want to admit it or not, are starting to realize that chemo does more damage than good.
Because you can't deny the results. You receive hope. And that is all I have been wanting. Not a doctor to tell me to go home and have the hard conversations with my family. No one can say when my time is up. No one but God. And, really, myself.
So mark your calendars for April 19, 2062. That is my 90th birthday. We will play gangster rap, dance with our walkers, eat cake, and drink a lot of beer. Start taking care of yourselves so you can keep up with this old lady!
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| My view from my bed while posting |
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